Wednesday, June 26, 2013

GFH3 Run #1,704; 26 June 2013

We knew they were good, but who knew they were this lucky?  Despite the warnings of severe thunderstorms, despite not having checked that the pavilion was available before they heroed up, BC3 and Mufti held a perfect hash:  no one came inside the house, and no one got wet.  What more can one ask?

Yes, Mango, you're a hero, too.

One can ask for a great trail, and one got that:  a bit over four miles, round the scenic lakes of Reston.  One can ask that the walkers have a seasoned guide, and Oral Advocate took charge.  One can ask for great weather, and one can make do with hot and humid, but not melting oozy puddle hot-and-humid; just mid-June-what-do-you-expect hot and humid.  One can ask that the severe thunderstorms hold off and they did, for huge-ola bonus points.  One can ask for pizza, having looked forward to it all day (sing along:  "Oh yay, hooray, today is pizza day; oh yay, hooray, today is pizza day..."), and one got plenty of that, along with Black Box and a selection of IPAs, and then there were what looked like Girl Scout cookies, too.

And the neighbors can stop to ask what on earth is going on, with all these semi-dressed people drooping over the walkways.  They accepted the explanation and went on their way.  Had they seen Mufti calling the roll, they might not have been so sanguine.

Plenty of excitement in the roll today:  Mary from Annapolis finally added her name to the list, estimating this is her fifth GFH3 run; Queen Cobra hit 222 (rhymes with "oooh"); Dave and Gale both hit 35; and all the way from Albuquerque, Ghanarhea (who actually has a different name now, but it's not as great as 'Ghanarhea') stepped up for special notice.  AAAAnd... Bite Me celebrated (I know you can't always tell with her, but I'm confident that expletive was a celebratory one, masquerading as complaint) her 900TH RUN!  It is, as Mufti notes, "a remarkable milestone."

Please don't make me use my goofy new name!

And then... and then... the Mufti produced a familiar-looking black frame, and spun it around to reveal Bob Raymond's well-preserved smelly t-shirt, or what we sometimes call the Death March Award.  Hisses sibililated through the gloaming.  The shameful nominees rang in the air:  second runner ups:  Airhorne, Brogue Bait and Pumpmaster, at least one of whom had faked major surgery (there is no such thing as a back replacement) to avoid hearing the calumnies heaped upon him.  Runner-up:  Easy Strider, who impresses no one when he hits mile eight on his bicycle for silly's sake.  And then:  the colossal losers of the Death March Award 2013... Greg and Lori, who immediately began pointing fingers every which way.  Greg blamed Lori, Lori blamed Lezlee (who was mysteriously absent), and finally the whole hash chimed in to blame Mini Schlonga, who leaped and pranced and danced about in the shower of booing righteously descending upon him.

Boooooo!   Hissssssssssss!
Later, someone blamed a dog.

Don't forget to carpool next week, and if you get lonely before then, all your friends are here in the pix.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Change of Location for Wednesday

The Hash will take place at Mufti and BC3's house on Wednesday, not at the pavilion.  Please bring lawn chairs or blankets.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

GFH3 Run #1,703; 19 June 2013

One week ago, when no one was signed up to host, who launched themselves bravely forth?  Bite Me and Blow in the Hole.  Today, when no one was signed up to host, from whom did the heroics arise?  The Veggie Wedgie (what a dumb name) and... Blow in the Hole.  How I love that woman.  She is the sole reason you got any false trails today.

thank you thank you thank you
So, with eight hours to prepare to host a hash, one first checks with the boss that sneaking out early will be okay, then lays out a trail, mentally, then hits the supermarket to see what might be cheap, easy, fast and not too redundant, then checks one's mental trail on pedi-maps, then whistles in astonishment and knocks about two miles off of the planned course.  You're welcome.  Understand that of course checking the weather report comes way before anything else, and if we hadn't gotten the clear skies, low humidity and perfect temps as forecast, I'd be in a trauma ward right now.

Anyway, about 25 people made it to McLean, and the 15 or thereabouts runners got maybe five-and-a-half miles of mixed woods and pavement, with a couple stream crossings and some really mean backchecks that were not my idea no matter what BitH says.  The walkers got a lovely trail with turkey and eagle choices, which they proved once again incapable of finding.  I am going to keep sending them out on that trail until they get it right.  The shortcutters got just what they deserve:  a long wait for supper.

Such lovely people are worth some heroics.  The guy on the right, however...

Supper was fish filet sandwiches, courtesy of Mrs. Paul, with a super salad that Irene brought just 'cause she's nice.  Good thing, too, as the late finishers had plenty to eat during the long wait for the second batch of fish.  The Dos Equis got a surprising number of thumbs-ups, and the Black Box wine is always appreciated, especially by the host (easy, cheap and you know how quickly the hashers get that box open).

Mufti was there, and once he had Mango under control he hollered his roll call, noting Queen Cobra at 221 (don't say, "ooh."  Do not say, "ooooh," yet.).  He also offered a couple of belated tributes from the Anniversary Hash, including thanks to Phoenix Rising for his super clean-up after the event, and an award to Irene for best first-hosting effort of the program year, for her colorful sandwich array and high-end fruit and cookies in Paeonian Springs in March.  Much applause for them, and also much cheering for the hash heroines, who basked in the hip-hips.  (Would have been better off in a hip bath, frankly, but one takes what one can get.)  CREDIT to Rick and Double Breasted Booby for taking a west coast walk on Memorial Day, and thinking of GFH3.  Really?  Credit?  DBB gave the Mufti a big smooch, and people began to understand what's really going on here.

Lots of dogs:  Mango, Peanut, Espion, Zoe, Cammy and Kindje, all delightfully behaved.  Jojo made a brief appearance, as she knows how much that means to Airhorne, Ole Fud and Suck Squeeze Bang.  Phoenix Rising and Flowerkraut pitched in on cleanup with determination and good cheer, which made the whole thing go much faster.  Thank you to Duck Sucker, Queen Cobra and Brent for bringing furniture for the outdoor party, to Brent and BitH for picture-taking, to everyone who came, and forever and ever to BitH for helping to set!

Here's what it looked like.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

GFH3 Run #1,702; 16 June 2013 - 31st Anniversary and Mufti Appreciation Day!!!

Yes, of course:  EVERY day is Mufti Appreciation Day.  But NOT every day is the 31st anniversary of the GFH3, so this one's maybe a bit special.

As per, the hash gathered in the early afternoon at a gracious Great Falls estate replete with swimming pool and spreading lawn.  Packing Pink Heat and Pickled Peter's place also affords views of a swan pool, which is just the sort of elegant embellishment our group warrants.  Before taking off through the woods to get sweaty, muddy and bloody, the group convened to have its photo taken, with absolutely everyone looking his or her very best in every shot.  You probably realize how rare that is in a group picture.  Thanks to Hand Job for the actual shooting.

Dahling, you look MAHvelous!  (especially Mollie's tummy)

Then it's away, down the hill, into the tall grass, under the trees, over the stream, up, down, over, under, around and back, in less than an hour (nice hares!), to leap the stream again, emerge from the trees, thresh the tall grass, and race back up the hill to where all the picnicking awaits, and several small children await various daddies who will take them in the pool (nice daddies!).  The walkers kept mostly to the streets, enjoying the light drizzle from overcast skies that came as such a pleasant change after Friday and Saturday's clear skies, light humidity and perfect temps.

Here is a useful strategy for enjoying a Hash potluck:  find Paddle My Candee Ass.  Ask her what she brought.  Go find those things and load your plate with them.  Since not everyone could get corn on the cob (not after I'd been through it, heh heh), it's a good thing that To Bea or Not to Bea made nine pounds of southern-style barbecued spareribs.  You know what would be a good thing for you to put in the comments?  Your favorite dishes from the potluck.  That would be a good thing for you to put in the comments.  For instance, "There was some delicious mac and cheese with crunchy bits on top."  Unless, of course, you got to the mac and cheese after I did, in which case you missed the crunchy-top-bits.  Heh heh.  Also, thanks to whoever brought the fizz and oj.  Mimosas are just the thing for picnics.

Mimosas in the tub on the far right.

Of course, the bestest most part of the anniversary run is the Mufti's annual awards ceremony.  He makes up new ones every year, and the 2013 edition included mother-and-child whisks for Beef Strokemoff and Tasty Cakes' high culinary standards, a rubber chicken-like item for Greg and Lori's backchecks-only trail, a keep-off sign and super-soaker for Suck Squeeze Bang and Heater Beater to help cope with testy neighbors (don't tell them, but Phlashback and Zipperhead have the same awards waiting when they return from dads' day or graduation or whatever they're doing), a map for Land Ho and Cums Up Slowly to help them get home with a bit less effort next time, and Band-Aids(r) for all 17 (or however many) of our lucky crew came through injury, illness and other bodily damage in the last year.  Then the usual suspects got their annual thanks (very high end chocolate bars, mostly) for things like Money Bitch-ing, Associate Mufti-ing, blogging (that's right, they pay me for this in candy), roll-call maintaining, t-shirt ordering and anniversary-hash hosting.  Yay for everyone.  In all the excitement, the Mufti forgot (this is the first time he's ever forgotten anything, isn't it?) to offer the Death March award to some misbegotten, undeserving fink.  You know he'll get to it, though.  Oh, yes -- he won't go without assigning the Death March appropriately.

Magic future boo-boo preventers for everyone!  (A few more people could have gotten in on this award, btw.)

On a more solemn note, the recently-widowed Mary joined us to accept a photo (thanks, Radar) of our founder and her husband, Last Call.  Mary made a few kind remarks about the joy the hash had brought Last Call, and the psychiatrists' bills it had saved many of its members (from the peanut gallery:  "All that money went to orthopedic surgeons instead.").  Mufti also asked that we remember Alan Marlette, who died earlier this year.

Much less solemnly, Ole Fud stepped up to the non-existent mic to lead revised versions of popular folk tunes, including Mary Gurr and Gwen Dargis's version of "Camptown Races."  Valiant recalled Last Call's attempts at live setting, which chronically ended in early capture of the hare, even when he deployed his two young sons to begin the "live" set early and get all those irritating false trails laid well before the hounds were loosed.  One understands our founder had a stubborn streak, but eventually he gave up, and the pre-set trail became the GFH3 standard.

Ole Fud moved on to a munificent tribute to the man he plans to establish as Grand Mufti of Great Falls ("If elected, I shall not serve," the Mufti promised).  The grateful multitude brought forward gifts of plenty:  a portrait surrounded by expressions of affection and respect, a digital photo frame stuffed with 30 recent photos of hash activity (and less-recent ones when Duck Sucker gets a crack at Radar's .nef format), the Mufti Appreciation Book and a gift certificate for the Auberge, which Blazing Straddle believes will be sufficient to cover an enjoyable dinner for three, thank you very much.  Finally, Bionic Babe unveiled the 31st Anniversary Shirt, with a wonderful illustration by her talented younger offspring.  You do not want to go without one of these shirts.  Contact Bionic Babe ASAP to order.

You, too, can have a handsome Mufti Appreciation Day t-shirt.
If you click here, you can see photos of all the people and all the dogs but Mango, who had to go home early for a nap.  A photo of all the kids gathered together would be lovely, but the gathering process would not, so, no -- no group kid shot.  Thanks to Hand Job, Queen Cobra, Suck Squeeze Bang and Greg for help with pix.


Before Wednesday morning -- the paint needs more time to dry completely.  Please spread the word...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

GFH3 Run #1,701; 12 June 2013

South Florida was hot and humid this morning; Reston was hotter and humid-er (there's a good pun on humidor in there, waiting to be made) this evening.  And we could all have stayed home in the a/c if it weren't for Blow in the Hole and Bite Me's hash heroics, which dragged about 30 of us to the pavilion for camaraderie, beer and sweat.  Note that four of us arrived in an open Jeep or a sporty Austin Healy, which is not on a par with BitH or BMe's heroism, but is pretty brave in the face of flash-flood advisories.

Did you ever know that you're my HEEE-ro...
Mufti was there, waving the Anniversary Hash flier (2pm!  Sunday!), and Bionic Babe was filling in order slips for the 31st Anniversary t-shirt.  The Mufti formally announced that no one is signed up to host for the rest of all time (other than PPH and PP for Sunday), and offered a paean to the XX half of the hash, lauding our beauty, wisdom and generosity in stepping up when the sign-up sheet is empty, and our hosts (who really live up to the beauty part, though given the weather the wisdom part is open to question) got a well-deserved cheer.

You know it's going to be a great run when the hares announce, in the brief, that everyone should identify and stick with a running buddy, just in case.  They did pull this one together in a rather ad hoc fashion, but included some nice little bits and bobs including a well-cushioned stretch along the back of the Giant shopping plaza that I believe only Gale actually ran, and she did so backwards.  Seriously, it was pretty well marked, and yet.  And yet...

Excellent BN mark that pretty much none of the runners managed to find.
Back at the pavilion, the hosts had laid out beverages and sandwich fixin's and about sixteen different kinds of chips and similar.  Hummus, a great big juicy red tomato slice and cheddar on whole wheat, with a lettuce leaf to top it off.  Yum.  Seriously yum.

Bionic Babe continued to t-shirt (you will *not* want to miss this year's shirt -- order now, or on Sunday) while the Mufti thundered the roll - double 3s for Dave, and #1 (99 to the cup!) for Austin, though that subsequently changed to #3 (97 to the cup!).   The Mufti added a few announcements, which have slipped my unfortunate mind at this point.  You can ask him on Sunday!  And if you'd like to see what we all looked like, wilting a bit as the night drew in, click here.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Anniversary Hash, Sunday 16 June, 2pm -- All the Detes

Per the Mufti:

                     XXXIth Anniversary GFH3 Run!!
                               Sunday, 16th June 2013

Where:  Mary “Packing Pink Heat” and Peter “Pickled Peter” Edwardsson, 10809 Nicholsridge Road, Great Falls.

Time:  Begin arriving abound 1PM.  The run will begin at 2 PM.

What To Bring:  Folding chairs, blankets, swim suits & towels, and anything needed to be comfortable on the lawn and in the pool.  Photo bugs bring your cameras to help record the big event.

Food/Paper Goods:  Bring something to share with the group: main dish, salad, dessert. In addition, bring those items you want to “horde” for yourself and family.  Two grills (and an oven in the kitchen for heating items) will be available for use. Finally, bring any surplus paper goods (plates, napkins, plastic forks & knives, etc.) you may have to share with the group. 

Beverages:  A keg of beer (with—hopefully—the right size tap!) will be provided by the Mufti if his recovery from hip replacement surgery allows.  Other libations (bottled beer, soda, wine (ugh!), etc.) you should bring for yourself and family; they will not be provided.

Hash Trash:  The Mufti will bring large plastic trash bags.  Everyone is expected to deposit all their trash in these bags before leaving.  As always, we want to thank our hosts for having us by leaving their home and yards in pristine shape.

Weather:  Call the Edwardsson’s (703-404-2063) after Noon if the weather is lousy or threatening for the authoritative word on whether the run is a “go.”  Given family members are invited, the normal Hash tradition of running in any weather is suspended.

Hash Cash:  $5 per runner to help cover one-time costs (e.g., beer keg, gifts, trash bags, paper/plastic goods, etc.) for this special run.

Volunteers Needed:  To help lay out the food and paper/plastic goods and insure clean up after the event.  See the Mufti to volunteer.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

GFH3 Run #1,700!!!; 5 June 2013

With all the excitement -- 1,700th run; Mufti with a groin pull, Phlashback's birthday, Heater Beater's birthday, and Dances with Bulls's 500th run -- I am wiped out and must hie myself to bed.  So just a few thoughts:

Zipperhead:  "I can set a perfect trail, and they are so stupid they just have to do something stupid."
"Stupid"ly enjoying the uphill trek from yet another backcheck

Zipperhead:  "I told Dances with Bulls, this is trail-setting 301.  Not 101, not 201 -- 301."

The weather could not get more gorgeous, could it?  Warm, dry, sunny, blue skies and a brief blaze of deep orange sunset.

Yummy Mexican-type food.  Grumblings on the quality of the beer.  None ref: quality of the wine.

Shiny beads to celebrate 1,700th.

Two newcomers?

Dances with Bulls, the former Spanish Fly and Crazy Ass and Como Loco or something like that, flamenco-ing.

Flamenco 101

Platoons of poodles.

Actually quite an impressive trail for the runners, with the leaders changing frequently, and Easy Strider getting a well-deserved backcheck or two, and the pack stringing out and then clumping back up again several times.

Photos here -- I handed off the camera to Radar for a bit, and Irene stepped in for a snap as well.  Thanks!